When has anyone calmed down when they've been told to "Calm Down!!". No one, right? It doesn't work yet we revert to telling our kids to calm down all the time. I'm guilty of saying it too.
First, kids need to learn how to calm down. They can learn different coping skills to assist with calming in a variety of ways; however, in order for kids to calm down their parents need to learn how to model calm behaviors during tantrums. I know, I get it, this is easier said than done. But hey, that's a great topic for another blog post!
One way to teach toddlers to calm down is by pre-teaching this skill when they are calm by reading one of my favorite books for toddlers called "Little Monkey Calms Down" by Michael Dahl.
I love reading this book to youngsters as it's short (like their attention span!) and it uses simple text and pictures to show different ways that Little Monkey calms down after having a bad day. They show him singing a quiet song, cuddling his blanket, and taking deep breaths.
After reading this book a few times with your child, I encourage parents to recite the book to their child when he/she is having a hard time. It often stops children in their tracks and adds humor to lighten the situation a bit when they hear their parents calling them a little monkey! You can recite the coping skills such as "let's sing a quiet song" and you can start singing to them or "let's take some deep breaths" and you can model what this looks like. Offer copious amounts of social praise for imitating your calm behaviors. Once calm, go about your day; however, always follow through with whatever boundary you may have set which provoked the tantrum.
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